So I am a lazy runner. I make a goal, procrastinate until the last minute, then miraculously pull it off; afterwards I reclaim my lazy nature and settle into lethargy. But I really don't like this! It gets me nowhere and I end up using more energy to get back into shape each time than I would if I could just remain constant and disciplined.
This morning however was a small victory for me. I have recently made a goal, procrastinated til the last second, and am on my way to "pulling it off". Haha. I only ran 1/2 mile last week; which is gay. Then the day before yesterday I ran 1 mile and walked 1/2 mile. So I figured today I would add 1/4 mile to my routine until I was at 3 miles steadily. Well, I got some motivation to achieve a bit more and so I ran 1 1/4 miles (was excited to have made my small goal) and while I was cooling down I thought "Hey! I should run a bit more!". So I did. I ran a total of 2 miles today. Yay for me. Then I went on a 2 mile walk with the dog.
Anyhow, I want to be motivated to run for my health not for the quick, short-term goals I usually ascribe to.
Yay! So here's the plan: to first add another 1/4 mile to my run while trying to run 2 miles straight with no walking intervals. Yea. That sounds good. My second goal after that is to run the day AFTER my first goal has been completed. That of course is in an effort to maintain my running habit and secure health as my priority. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
If you don't hear me mentioning running in any more blogs, then I need to be beat over the head and forced to run in a wheel--like a rat, or a hampster.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Your first glimpse!
Welcome! You have been invited inside my head! I'm sure this will be a confusing trip for you, so I will try to make it easy. ;) I guess we'll just jump right in!
What to do? What to do? I have fallen in love again with Max and at the exact same time I've developed a heart-ache filled tumor the size of Texas (hmm how appropriate). We've been in love before but I was immature/insecure and he was busy/far away. We've all been there. But its now been 3 years and we both changed--sorta. Now I'm busy and he's still far away. Hmmm... I wonder if we're both far away? Oh well. So this whole love business. Its kinda like coming home to a warm fire, not your whole house, but contained to the fireplace, where it should be. It just feels nice. I've always pined for this trust and chemistry and now that I have it, I feel like I'm on the brink of losing it just as quickly.
You see, I'm a heart surgeon with a tabby cat and he's a rocket scientist with a chocolate Lab. It just can't work!! Okay, so I'm kidding about that. But this distance thing is killing me! We live over 800 miles from one another! That's just retarded. I've petitioned the governor many times to have my state moved next to his and he just won't budge! haha. But seriously, how can I resolve this? His work keeps him there; my schooling/work/support systems keep me here. Blah. It almost makes you want to fold your hand. But you can't because you have a royal flush (or whatever the highest card hand is)!!! What do you do with it?
Cupid has a sick sense of humor.
What to do? What to do? I have fallen in love again with Max and at the exact same time I've developed a heart-ache filled tumor the size of Texas (hmm how appropriate). We've been in love before but I was immature/insecure and he was busy/far away. We've all been there. But its now been 3 years and we both changed--sorta. Now I'm busy and he's still far away. Hmmm... I wonder if we're both far away? Oh well. So this whole love business. Its kinda like coming home to a warm fire, not your whole house, but contained to the fireplace, where it should be. It just feels nice. I've always pined for this trust and chemistry and now that I have it, I feel like I'm on the brink of losing it just as quickly.
You see, I'm a heart surgeon with a tabby cat and he's a rocket scientist with a chocolate Lab. It just can't work!! Okay, so I'm kidding about that. But this distance thing is killing me! We live over 800 miles from one another! That's just retarded. I've petitioned the governor many times to have my state moved next to his and he just won't budge! haha. But seriously, how can I resolve this? His work keeps him there; my schooling/work/support systems keep me here. Blah. It almost makes you want to fold your hand. But you can't because you have a royal flush (or whatever the highest card hand is)!!! What do you do with it?
Cupid has a sick sense of humor.
Friday, December 22, 2006
I am _____________.
Yes. That's correct. I won't tell you what I was going to say. You can guess, and would probably be correct. I am all those things. Probably not much more, I guess.
An interesting turn of events this week: I will not divulge them. I can however speak in strange metaphors. Enjoy!
The Ghost of Christmas Past visited me in the recent past (haha). He brought with him a blueberry muffin and the scent of chai tea. Lovely smells, just lovely. And with that he tied my hands and taped my mouth shut, but allowed my eyes to see what I could have in an alternate time and place. Bewildering combination of grief and comfort. So as I sat dazed, smiling, he took my hand and led me spiraling down the rabbit's hole--where the images are dangerously sublime. The music is old and new at the same time. I am at the precipice, looking in all directions. I've been here before. The Ghost is annoyed with me. I am unable to finish my sentences: I am ______, I feel _______, I want _________. But I can't say I don't know. Somehow the music makes sense, but I don't. I'm sure I can, but I don't know how. Fabulous. Just fabulous. Thanks a lot Ghost, you sure revealed a whole of a lot. I really hope the the Ghosts of Christmas Present and Future will show up shortly and sort this all out.
And you thought Dickinson was cryptic! Ha!
An interesting turn of events this week: I will not divulge them. I can however speak in strange metaphors. Enjoy!
The Ghost of Christmas Past visited me in the recent past (haha). He brought with him a blueberry muffin and the scent of chai tea. Lovely smells, just lovely. And with that he tied my hands and taped my mouth shut, but allowed my eyes to see what I could have in an alternate time and place. Bewildering combination of grief and comfort. So as I sat dazed, smiling, he took my hand and led me spiraling down the rabbit's hole--where the images are dangerously sublime. The music is old and new at the same time. I am at the precipice, looking in all directions. I've been here before. The Ghost is annoyed with me. I am unable to finish my sentences: I am ______, I feel _______, I want _________. But I can't say I don't know. Somehow the music makes sense, but I don't. I'm sure I can, but I don't know how. Fabulous. Just fabulous. Thanks a lot Ghost, you sure revealed a whole of a lot. I really hope the the Ghosts of Christmas Present and Future will show up shortly and sort this all out.
And you thought Dickinson was cryptic! Ha!
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Updating Blog
I haven't written in a while, so I thought I'd fill everyone (by everyone I mean Jac, my only part-time reader) in on my incredibly satisfying life!
In the last year, many unexpected things have happened to me. I turned 24 years old, I woke up every morning (to birds chirping), and I ran a little. Some expected things also happened. Two ex-boyfriends contacted me, my grandmother died, my friend Bryant is in Iraq, and I started to feel old.
So here's a little story I think will sum everything up for you (jac).
Ahem. Once upon a time there was a simply gorgeous girl named......Andrea, let's say. She got a job in the ER where nothing seems to gross her out and learned that everyone thinks their pain is worse than everyone else's. (oh my papercut!!! I'm gonna die!) Anyhow, she also dated a guy over the summer who liked to refer to himself as "Daddy" and proceeded to cheat on her. Andrea's lack of emotional involvement with him made it easy to say "See Ya!" (That would be a reference to Bedazzled, Jeff will be the only one to catch that) Andrea has also completed a semester at UMKC in the winter and now the fall is coming to a close. Thank god for that. There were also two separate instances where Andrea (for lack of better judgement) got semi-involved with men who already had significant others. That was stupid of her and she's learned her lesson. Again. Andrea was not allowed to vote in the midterm elections here in Blue Springs because she had been previously registered to vote in Kansas City, and even though that is still within the same county as Blue Springs, it was under a separate jurisdiction. However, the election results reflected Andrea's inteneded vote and she is A-OKAY!!!
I think that is a good enough story for now. Stay tuned for next year's issue.
In the last year, many unexpected things have happened to me. I turned 24 years old, I woke up every morning (to birds chirping), and I ran a little. Some expected things also happened. Two ex-boyfriends contacted me, my grandmother died, my friend Bryant is in Iraq, and I started to feel old.
So here's a little story I think will sum everything up for you (jac).
Ahem. Once upon a time there was a simply gorgeous girl named......Andrea, let's say. She got a job in the ER where nothing seems to gross her out and learned that everyone thinks their pain is worse than everyone else's. (oh my papercut!!! I'm gonna die!) Anyhow, she also dated a guy over the summer who liked to refer to himself as "Daddy" and proceeded to cheat on her. Andrea's lack of emotional involvement with him made it easy to say "See Ya!" (That would be a reference to Bedazzled, Jeff will be the only one to catch that) Andrea has also completed a semester at UMKC in the winter and now the fall is coming to a close. Thank god for that. There were also two separate instances where Andrea (for lack of better judgement) got semi-involved with men who already had significant others. That was stupid of her and she's learned her lesson. Again. Andrea was not allowed to vote in the midterm elections here in Blue Springs because she had been previously registered to vote in Kansas City, and even though that is still within the same county as Blue Springs, it was under a separate jurisdiction. However, the election results reflected Andrea's inteneded vote and she is A-OKAY!!!
I think that is a good enough story for now. Stay tuned for next year's issue.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Kevin and Joe's Illegal Ventures
So Jacque and I went to Kevin and Joe's palace by the sea. Joe wanted me to read some email he sent me but the computer was a piece and I couldn't get the thing to stop dancing.
There was a strange lady there with her 3 kids and she was trying to put them to bed. In the meantime, she was trying to find homes for her dogs. I told her that they looked in good health and that was all.
Then Jacque and I were getting the impression that Kevin and Joe were in some sort of illegal business involving foreign something or other. Kevin entered the room with running clothes he had bought for us. I was pissed because everything Kevin bought for me was in a size XL!!! Also, I was jealous of the Puma shorts he bought for Jacque. They were super cute pink and sparkly-like. Hrm.
Then I left to go to the store to return mine for a more suitable size. Problem though... Jacque calls from Blockbuster. Apparently, there is more going on than first meets the eye. My ex-boyfriend Jeremy is somehow involved in this illegal plot. Then I spy Joe driving his Durango across the street... he is wearing a welding mask-Why? He looks suspicious and quickly makes his escape!
I arrive at the grocery store where I am almost accosted by an employee but I make it out ok. A few muscle men begin chasing me through the parking lot, I scream to whoever will listen.
Why can't I ever get a break?
There was a strange lady there with her 3 kids and she was trying to put them to bed. In the meantime, she was trying to find homes for her dogs. I told her that they looked in good health and that was all.
Then Jacque and I were getting the impression that Kevin and Joe were in some sort of illegal business involving foreign something or other. Kevin entered the room with running clothes he had bought for us. I was pissed because everything Kevin bought for me was in a size XL!!! Also, I was jealous of the Puma shorts he bought for Jacque. They were super cute pink and sparkly-like. Hrm.
Then I left to go to the store to return mine for a more suitable size. Problem though... Jacque calls from Blockbuster. Apparently, there is more going on than first meets the eye. My ex-boyfriend Jeremy is somehow involved in this illegal plot. Then I spy Joe driving his Durango across the street... he is wearing a welding mask-Why? He looks suspicious and quickly makes his escape!
I arrive at the grocery store where I am almost accosted by an employee but I make it out ok. A few muscle men begin chasing me through the parking lot, I scream to whoever will listen.
Why can't I ever get a break?
Thursday, August 3, 2006
AT&ME
Ordinarily I might wonder: "Is 'ordinarily' a real word?" and look it up on dictionary.com, but today is a special day. Why? you might ask. Because I am not going to answer those questions without a few more drinks! (of coffee Joe, gimme a break man!)
A wonderful and interesting spectacle of serendipity for all to share!! Doesn't that kinda sound like "Mr. Kite"? Well, never mind that. All I have to say is that I am pleased with Karma. I experienced something quite nice this week that not many people get to claim. I will cherish this. ;)
As far as my annual training with the ye olde Army Reserves goes, all is in preparation for my relocation to Iraq. I assume Iraq because that's where we're going. I'm spending my daytime hours in the daylight; burning several layers of skin conviently selective: neck, face, hands below the wrists. Now THAT'S the one you want! Not a farmer's tan, oh no, a soldier's tan!
I must also admit that I have a problem. "Hello! My name is Andrea and I'm a shopaholic!" *Sobs violently*
I've done 8 loads of laundry over a few days' time! 8 loads!! Who has that many items of clothing! Its a relief I don't have to wash my shoes or I'd have to quit my hypothetical job and spend my waking hours with my shoes. Not a bad idea, now that I think about it!
Also for those of you reading this blog, please be kind enough to cross your fingers for me! I have a wonderful job opportunity and I don't want to spoil it by talking too much or getting too excited. *crosses fingers*
I'M TOO EXCITED!!!
A wonderful and interesting spectacle of serendipity for all to share!! Doesn't that kinda sound like "Mr. Kite"? Well, never mind that. All I have to say is that I am pleased with Karma. I experienced something quite nice this week that not many people get to claim. I will cherish this. ;)
As far as my annual training with the ye olde Army Reserves goes, all is in preparation for my relocation to Iraq. I assume Iraq because that's where we're going. I'm spending my daytime hours in the daylight; burning several layers of skin conviently selective: neck, face, hands below the wrists. Now THAT'S the one you want! Not a farmer's tan, oh no, a soldier's tan!
I must also admit that I have a problem. "Hello! My name is Andrea and I'm a shopaholic!" *Sobs violently*
I've done 8 loads of laundry over a few days' time! 8 loads!! Who has that many items of clothing! Its a relief I don't have to wash my shoes or I'd have to quit my hypothetical job and spend my waking hours with my shoes. Not a bad idea, now that I think about it!
Also for those of you reading this blog, please be kind enough to cross your fingers for me! I have a wonderful job opportunity and I don't want to spoil it by talking too much or getting too excited. *crosses fingers*
I'M TOO EXCITED!!!
Friday, July 21, 2006
I need a hug!
*Sigh*
Yes its one of those days. It ought to be raining outside to coincide with my inside. I don't know. I feel down today. I spent the morning sifting through things in my parents' finished basement. I came across old family photos, high school papers, dad's stuff, mom's stuff.... books upon books. I saw myself in school photos from kindergarten to graduation. Its strange to see yourself and yet not see yourself. Hmm... nevermind.
I even found a birthday card with a letter and check made out to a person that my dad went to nuclear power school with back in the late 80's. The check was dated '88. I can't believe that was down there. I wonder if whoever wrote that check is still wondering after 18 years "where is that $20"... probably not but I want to send it to her just for kicks.
Maybe I inhaled too much dust or it could be the heat, but I left my rents' house feeling a bit sad. I mentally reviewed my mistakes over the years and began to wonder "what if?".
I also received an urgent FedEx this afternoon from the Army. I was shaking inside. I thought, "what if they're sending me away? I don't want to go!" Turns out it was just some paperwork for me to go get some dental x-rays done. I'm not quite sure why that is 'urgent'.
My good friend's mother has cancer, I found out recently.
Carpe diem, they say. Today I've been blindfolded and can't see anything to seize. Perhaps after a nap, I will open my eyes and smile. I'm generally a positive person and I just have to wonder "what put me in this state of mind" and why today? I'm confused, I feel drained, empty. Gas prices are too high. Have I grown bland over the years? Where's my "spunk" that I had been known for? Once, a person told me that I had lost my "free spirit"... I hate that person to the core, but that's besides the point. Has life's responsibilities taken its toll on my happiness. I don't think so... I've spent so much of my life laughing, singing, and enjoying my friends company. This day is a fluke. It doesn't belong. I should chuck it-along with the entire two years after Ryan. Those shall be erased also.
Again *Sigh*.... Tomorrow I will most likely delete this blog. I will be my normal self again and think "what a whiney little queer!" erase erase erase!
However, if you would care to donate a hug, I will be available at all hours of the day or afternoon times. Keep in mind, tomorrow I may not want a hug. I may be like "dude, get off me!" ahhahahaa... at least even today I can make me laugh.
P.S. did you know that "p.s." means post script? Another one for ya! Ha!
Yes its one of those days. It ought to be raining outside to coincide with my inside. I don't know. I feel down today. I spent the morning sifting through things in my parents' finished basement. I came across old family photos, high school papers, dad's stuff, mom's stuff.... books upon books. I saw myself in school photos from kindergarten to graduation. Its strange to see yourself and yet not see yourself. Hmm... nevermind.
I even found a birthday card with a letter and check made out to a person that my dad went to nuclear power school with back in the late 80's. The check was dated '88. I can't believe that was down there. I wonder if whoever wrote that check is still wondering after 18 years "where is that $20"... probably not but I want to send it to her just for kicks.
Maybe I inhaled too much dust or it could be the heat, but I left my rents' house feeling a bit sad. I mentally reviewed my mistakes over the years and began to wonder "what if?".
I also received an urgent FedEx this afternoon from the Army. I was shaking inside. I thought, "what if they're sending me away? I don't want to go!" Turns out it was just some paperwork for me to go get some dental x-rays done. I'm not quite sure why that is 'urgent'.
My good friend's mother has cancer, I found out recently.
Carpe diem, they say. Today I've been blindfolded and can't see anything to seize. Perhaps after a nap, I will open my eyes and smile. I'm generally a positive person and I just have to wonder "what put me in this state of mind" and why today? I'm confused, I feel drained, empty. Gas prices are too high. Have I grown bland over the years? Where's my "spunk" that I had been known for? Once, a person told me that I had lost my "free spirit"... I hate that person to the core, but that's besides the point. Has life's responsibilities taken its toll on my happiness. I don't think so... I've spent so much of my life laughing, singing, and enjoying my friends company. This day is a fluke. It doesn't belong. I should chuck it-along with the entire two years after Ryan. Those shall be erased also.
Again *Sigh*.... Tomorrow I will most likely delete this blog. I will be my normal self again and think "what a whiney little queer!" erase erase erase!
However, if you would care to donate a hug, I will be available at all hours of the day or afternoon times. Keep in mind, tomorrow I may not want a hug. I may be like "dude, get off me!" ahhahahaa... at least even today I can make me laugh.
P.S. did you know that "p.s." means post script? Another one for ya! Ha!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
