Kevin and Joe's Illegal Ventures

So Jacque and I went to Kevin and Joe's palace by the sea. Joe wanted me to read some email he sent me but the computer was a piece and I couldn't get the thing to stop dancing.
There was a strange lady there with her 3 kids and she was trying to put them to bed. In the meantime, she was trying to find homes for her dogs. I told her that they looked in good health and that was all.
Then Jacque and I were getting the impression that Kevin and Joe were in some sort of illegal business involving foreign something or other. Kevin entered the room with running clothes he had bought for us. I was pissed because everything Kevin bought for me was in a size XL!!! Also, I was jealous of the Puma shorts he bought for Jacque. They were super cute pink and sparkly-like. Hrm.
Then I left to go to the store to return mine for a more suitable size. Problem though... Jacque calls from Blockbuster. Apparently, there is more going on than first meets the eye. My ex-boyfriend Jeremy is somehow involved in this illegal plot. Then I spy Joe driving his Durango across the street... he is wearing a welding mask-Why? He looks suspicious and quickly makes his escape!
I arrive at the grocery store where I am almost accosted by an employee but I make it out ok. A few muscle men begin chasing me through the parking lot, I scream to whoever will listen.
Why can't I ever get a break?

AT&ME

Ordinarily I might wonder: "Is 'ordinarily' a real word?" and look it up on dictionary.com, but today is a special day. Why? you might ask. Because I am not going to answer those questions without a few more drinks! (of coffee Joe, gimme a break man!)
A wonderful and interesting spectacle of serendipity for all to share!! Doesn't that kinda sound like "Mr. Kite"? Well, never mind that. All I have to say is that I am pleased with Karma. I experienced something quite nice this week that not many people get to claim. I will cherish this. ;)
As far as my annual training with the ye olde Army Reserves goes, all is in preparation for my relocation to Iraq. I assume Iraq because that's where we're going. I'm spending my daytime hours in the daylight; burning several layers of skin conviently selective: neck, face, hands below the wrists. Now THAT'S the one you want! Not a farmer's tan, oh no, a soldier's tan!
I must also admit that I have a problem. "Hello! My name is Andrea and I'm a shopaholic!" *Sobs violently*
I've done 8 loads of laundry over a few days' time! 8 loads!! Who has that many items of clothing! Its a relief I don't have to wash my shoes or I'd have to quit my hypothetical job and spend my waking hours with my shoes. Not a bad idea, now that I think about it!
Also for those of you reading this blog, please be kind enough to cross your fingers for me! I have a wonderful job opportunity and I don't want to spoil it by talking too much or getting too excited. *crosses fingers*

I'M TOO EXCITED!!!