What an Incredibly Lonely Feeling....

....being alone in the desert on Christmas. I got up this morning and it was Christmas Eve (because my "morning" was 7pm). I had the day off. I looked around my CHU and found myself alone. I decided to turn on some Christmas carols and drink a cup of joe. Then I began to get this horrible, panicky feeling--I don't want to be alone! I quickly dressed and went to work where I knew people would be.

Luckily for me, I received a package in the mail. Even though the package was from me, I was still very pleased. I decided that it would be my Christmas Eve present. In my family, as well as a lot of others, we open one present on Christmas Eve. I opened up the amazon.com box to reveal a pink-striped BCBGirls shoe box. I'm pretty sure I squeeled with joy! I oped the shoe box and smiled. There were my long-coveted, now discounted heels. Yay! I hurriedly took off my combat boots and replaced them with the shiny, black patent leather stilettos. Yeah, I'm hot. After strutting around the EMT for a bit, I put them back in their box. Sigh. There's just something about shoes.

Then I went about my business of placing small gifts in my co-workers' boxes. These gifts were given to me by the Jennings group (a church group that my mom belongs to). We are all very thankful for these gifts. There was a nurse who was also placing gifts that he had received in the boxes. His gifts came from his wife's employer--and we are thankful. My gift was a makeup kit full of makeup that I would give my 6 year old daughter (if I had one) because I didn't trust her with makeup that cost anything. Haha. I make me laugh. Anyway, I figure I can use it on someone who falls asleep on the job.

There was a curious box near the office in the EMT full of fun toys. There were jacks, yo-yo's, pickup sticks, hot wheels cars, water guns, silly string, and a beach ball. We were all delighted and seriously amused by these. I had a silly string fight with the doc (video pending release) and we played kick ball with the beach ball for a little while. I played jacks with a nurse until we were interrupted by a flying helicopter inside the EMT. The doc got it in his secret santa swap. The small remote-controlled helicopter was zooming around, bumping into walls, crashing violently on the floor, and really doing a poor job at flying straight. It was great!

We were terribly bored after all that fun and I did not want to go back to my lonely CHU, so I stayed and we watched "Kill Bill: Vol 2" which I enjoy a lot. I think I shall buy it sometime. After the movie was finished and there was nothing left to do, I walked slowly back to my CHU, shoe box in hand, weapon across my chest, fleece jacket zipped up to my nose, and braved the cold, lonely walk back. I changed into pajamas and tried calling my mom on Yahoo! voice--which didn't work.

Now here I am. I am not tired and I have absolutely nothing to do. It is now Christmas Day. Despite my brief interlude of fun in the EMT, my day began lonely and is ending the same. I tried tricking my emotions into thinking that my co-workers could substitute for my loved ones. Apparently, I am too smart for me. Oh well, this season will be over and when it is, I will be just that much more closer to seeing my husband, Max. I miss him terribly.

Hair Bonanza!

Ok, its another "What do you guys think?" The color! The style is the same. And yes, I need a haircut because my ends are dead. I'll deal with that later. I don't trust the Iraqi hairdressers here to touch my locks. Yep, I said it.

Update: My Casio camera is repaired but they sent it to Ft. McCoy, WI because they are idiots. It will be a while before they can re-route it to send it here. My hard drive is completely dead. All my data is gone. Ugh. No more mice. The traps are set and the holes are filled with caulk.

Invaders and Thieves

So, there is a mouse in my CHU. Or at least that's what my roommate says. She discovered it yesterday while it was munching on some of my mini-bagels. She chased it around, trying to catch it, but to no avail. We can't figure out how it got in here. We're going to set a trap for it tomorrow. My roommate wanted to name it Ralph (from the Mouse and the Motorcycle). I don't want to name something that I'm trying to kill. Of course, now I am paranoid! Every little sound, I get up, look for it, check the mini-bagels......

On another note, someone stole our front porch. We have these little wooden "porches" outside our CHU and now ours is missing. Someone awful took it. That made me frown. :( Like that. Bastards! Now when I step outside my CHU, I have to look down to make sure I'm not going to trip on a rock or miss the one little step that is still there! I just hope they don't steal that little step. (cross your fingers)

Update: Allstate has gone south for the winter and is no longer hanging out on my window. I hope to see him again in the spring. That is all.

Our Resident Yoda

Life has a way of surprising you (in a good way) from time to time by throwing a bit of wisdom in your path. Wisdom is a welcome surprise to me because I often feel rather foolish. I had been feeling down as of late and upon answering a simple question from a friend, I stumbled upon an incredible insight into my life and the relationships therein.

The question was "What's wrong?" It sounds like a fairly common and easily dismissed question, and it usually is. For some reason, I decided to answer it--honestly. I rambled on and on until I found myself circling a particular subject. The question poser listened and did not speak. After detailing, explaining, and finally questioning my dilemma/hardship, the poser spoke. He stated, what should have been obvious to me, that I needed to examine the foundation of the relationship thoroughly.

I am going to reevaluate some things. Perhaps what once was is not anymore or what's more likely, perhaps it was never what I thought it was to begin with. I'm not upset. I am relieved. I wish I had insight into my own life. Isn't that a silly wish?