What an Incredibly Lonely Feeling....

....being alone in the desert on Christmas. I got up this morning and it was Christmas Eve (because my "morning" was 7pm). I had the day off. I looked around my CHU and found myself alone. I decided to turn on some Christmas carols and drink a cup of joe. Then I began to get this horrible, panicky feeling--I don't want to be alone! I quickly dressed and went to work where I knew people would be.

Luckily for me, I received a package in the mail. Even though the package was from me, I was still very pleased. I decided that it would be my Christmas Eve present. In my family, as well as a lot of others, we open one present on Christmas Eve. I opened up the amazon.com box to reveal a pink-striped BCBGirls shoe box. I'm pretty sure I squeeled with joy! I oped the shoe box and smiled. There were my long-coveted, now discounted heels. Yay! I hurriedly took off my combat boots and replaced them with the shiny, black patent leather stilettos. Yeah, I'm hot. After strutting around the EMT for a bit, I put them back in their box. Sigh. There's just something about shoes.

Then I went about my business of placing small gifts in my co-workers' boxes. These gifts were given to me by the Jennings group (a church group that my mom belongs to). We are all very thankful for these gifts. There was a nurse who was also placing gifts that he had received in the boxes. His gifts came from his wife's employer--and we are thankful. My gift was a makeup kit full of makeup that I would give my 6 year old daughter (if I had one) because I didn't trust her with makeup that cost anything. Haha. I make me laugh. Anyway, I figure I can use it on someone who falls asleep on the job.

There was a curious box near the office in the EMT full of fun toys. There were jacks, yo-yo's, pickup sticks, hot wheels cars, water guns, silly string, and a beach ball. We were all delighted and seriously amused by these. I had a silly string fight with the doc (video pending release) and we played kick ball with the beach ball for a little while. I played jacks with a nurse until we were interrupted by a flying helicopter inside the EMT. The doc got it in his secret santa swap. The small remote-controlled helicopter was zooming around, bumping into walls, crashing violently on the floor, and really doing a poor job at flying straight. It was great!

We were terribly bored after all that fun and I did not want to go back to my lonely CHU, so I stayed and we watched "Kill Bill: Vol 2" which I enjoy a lot. I think I shall buy it sometime. After the movie was finished and there was nothing left to do, I walked slowly back to my CHU, shoe box in hand, weapon across my chest, fleece jacket zipped up to my nose, and braved the cold, lonely walk back. I changed into pajamas and tried calling my mom on Yahoo! voice--which didn't work.

Now here I am. I am not tired and I have absolutely nothing to do. It is now Christmas Day. Despite my brief interlude of fun in the EMT, my day began lonely and is ending the same. I tried tricking my emotions into thinking that my co-workers could substitute for my loved ones. Apparently, I am too smart for me. Oh well, this season will be over and when it is, I will be just that much more closer to seeing my husband, Max. I miss him terribly.